Smile and nod.

Why must people make it a point to rain on my parade? Sometimes I wish people would just smile and nod.

I've been uber stressed about what to do about moving to Guam. Should I go? Should I go now? Should I go to school instead? Should I be considering buying a house? should I wait until things stabilize in Guam (whereas the states are experiencing a buyer's market in housing, looming changes in Guam have real estate on the upswing/seller's market)? should I wait until things stabilize here (till I have all my ducks in a row)?

I have been feeling obligated to stay for various reasons. And I don't like to feel obligated to anything. Here are some of the reasons.

1. Some people feel as though I'm running away from my life....
2. My dad has just made an investment in my education. doesn't make sense for me to quit halfway through.
3. There are people that I want to keep around, and going to Guam is not much of an option for them.

Instead of not worrying about the real issues, I decided to explore my options further. I have been toying with the idea of living on a boat in Guam. So I decided to check into the practicality of buying a good-sized sailboat to live on.

I started shopping around on craigslist in san fransisco/bay area. There are some pretty nice boats to be had for a pretty decent price. I considered a house boat, but they actually pretty expensive, plus they are motorized which requires fuel... bad option. They are generally pontoons, and those rock around on the water because they don't have any ballast to speak of.
I would love to have a sailboat, because I would most likely make frequent trips to the many Marinana Islands. I plan to do some documentary work that could lead me to some work on Saipan.

I know I am not a sailor. I have a lot to learn about navigation and stuff. but it's something I intend to learn, especially if I'm going to live on an island. So, maybe it's a few years down the road for me to own and opperate my own sailboat. But it's not out of the question. I have even givven thought to the possibility of sailing a boat TO Guam. Not this time around, obviously (although, maybe if I had a highly-competent crew make the voyage with me, it would serve as an intensive training on all the ins and outs of sailing and navigation).

I happened upon a craigslist posting that advertized a distribution company looking for nature documentaries. I happen to be planning to make at least one such documentary of Wildlife on Guam, specifically on the bioinvasive species of Guam.

My roommates sometimes ask what I'm up to when I am online in the livingroom. I really should stick to short answers like "readin'..." or "bloggin'..." but sometimes I am so excited about an idea or a topic that I can't contain it. I devulge the specifics of my thoughts to them, knowing that it will be met with stiff skepticism and cynical comments.

Last night, after being patraonized for considering living on a sailboat by one or two of my roomies, I happened onto the aformentioned Craigslist posting. My roommate "Jim" asked what I was up to , naturally I was more than ready to tell him all about my new find. I read aloud the proposed arrangement, which essentially solicits finished productions from independant submitters, to be distributed en masse around the world.

"and it bakes a cake" he said, when I was done.
"what?"
"oh, it just sounds like these guys are making a lot of promises..."

I dunno where he gets that. no where in it does it say that they are obligated to do anything for me, in fact, it specifies that any profits made will be based on royalties from sales, which is a disclaimer, not a promise. it doesn't proclaim to be a way to get rich, it specifies that the return would be "suplimental income" at best.

so where does he find that it "makes a bunch of promises?" he doesn't. He just automatically becomes a skeptic because I mentioned that it was on the Guam/Micronesia craigslist. If I had said it was a local thing he would have sung out his support.... It doesn't matter what the venture, if I propose that I do it in Guam, it becomes shady, stupid or a long shot. Why?

I'm certain I don't understand it.
I don't know why everyone feels such a hostility to the idea of living in Guam (though most people sing two tunes at once "That sounds like a dumb idea" and "I'll come visit you"). whatever it is that makes people instant critics, I'm really getting sick of it. I suppose I'll keep my plans between me and you (dear reader) from now on, because I don't think people are asking because they really want to know, and I could sure do without the Eeyore mentality they bring to the table.