Thursday, May 22, 2008

Honest to a Fault

Hello again, Dear Reader.

Not a lot of substance today. Just an update on what is going on for me.

Got the call back about the promotion/job change I applied for this week. the answer was "no."
My roommate asked me if they said why... They can't exactly say "well, we had made up our minds who we were going to give it to before we even announced the opening. We just let you apply and interview for it as a courtesy." that, and "well, see... there are only 3 positions open, and you're number 7 as seniority goes..."I'm totally confident that I made a strong argument for myself. But that's a moot point when the decision is already made.

If nothing else, I can retain my dignity that I have been 100 percent honest throughout the process. I have no problem talking myself up, and I have no problem admitting my faults. Which, I believe, is something uncommon. Then again, maybe my unwillingness to deny that I have room for improvement was the deal-breaker. I was ready to take inventory of my faults and acknowledge them. Nobody is perfect. Somehow I can believe that the administration is more concerned with finding the people who will say the words "I'm your man." than they are with whether or not that statement is true. Even though I see time and time again that people just want to hear the words, I can't bring myself to lie. The bottom line is, I want this job because I'm sick of sacrificing every weekend to work, breaking my back and dealing with a system that is dysfunctional without being able to give my constructive input.

In other news, I got to talk to my dad for a good hour or so today. Got caught up on the weather and whatnot. I offered to spoil the ending of my script for him, but he wouldn't hear of it. He seems honestly enthusiastic about my passion for film. He encourages me and supports me in pursuing it.

I made a graph on my whiteboard (just beneath the one that tells me how many more pages of my screenplay I need to write before I allow myself to shave). It's one of those cheesy thermometer-style goal graphs. It's reassuring to see how close I am to getting my first video camera. As close as I am, I decided to keep going with it and tack on a budget for tricking it out with a standalone hard drive system so I don't have to deal with DV tapes/capture/file transfer. Or, at least, minimize it.

I'm about to kick back and enjoy the remainder of my "weekend" (since tomorrow I have to go to work and deal with all the people who I feel just snubbed their noses at me...) I'm doing some "research" in the form of a documentary on homeless folks. I'll let you know how it goes.

thanks for reading.

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